Musings on Fat-calling

At least 9 out of 10 times, when told in the Philippine/Filipino setting that you are getting/being “fat” or “big” there is no clear communication of the commenter’s intention e.g. I am letting you know because I’m concerned about your health OR I am sharing my unsolicited observation because I don’t think you’re self aware OR I’ve been through what you’re going through and I’m now about to drop some knowledge on you OR look at my ability to maintain my figure and look at you OR the worst unspoken and most often assumed implication: I think your weight makes you look ugly.

I’ve always felt strongly about this so for those hearing it from me for the first time:

  1. Weight may or may not equate to good health.
  2. Weight is a f—ing outdated way to gauge beauty.
  3. Real weight struggles may have reasons that should be respected: not all reasons are excuses.
  4. Your experience or lack thereof doesn’t make you qualified to give unsolicited advice or make other people feel like s—t.
  5. Before you comment on someone’s weight, ask yourself: Am I really helping? Also: is this really any of my damn business?

Through the years I’ve gotten less and less comments about my weight. Not because I’ve been able to fit people’s standards but more because I don’t want to take sh*t anymore. If you are one of these people still giving away these amazing sh*t comments – please stop. I swear it’s the right thing to do.

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33

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I’m 33 today. I got a few wrinkles, permanent eyebags and white hairs hiding among the purple.

Age is just a number. Apart from my looks, questionable health, being sleepy at 9pm, I do feel younger. Maybe it comes from acting too old for my age in my youth. My mother did tell me multiple times that since birth, I have always been in a rush to get ahead. I was originally due on Christmas Day.

I watched too many Calvento files and Days of Our Lives episodes as a kid. I may have started liking boys at too young an age.

I became competitive with my studies, quiz bees, sports, research contests, joining the next cool company. In many ways, I’ve felt like I was pushing myself to do things an older wiser person would do.

Then, my body started feeling older. I got hitched. I have a kid. The universe doesn’t $@#*% slow down. Thank goodness my experience with anxiety and depression taught me this cool trick of focusing on what I can control.

I feel younger because I’ve learned that I may not be able to stop time and &@$! hitting the fan but I can choose to slow the $@#*% down.